Nothing I write here is going to outdo the original headline:
Man jailed, accused of trying to marinate his cat
BUFFALO, New York (Reuters) – A western New York man appeared in court on Friday to face animal cruelty charges, after trying to marinate his cat so he could eat it, authorities said.[maybe he just wanted it to feel delicious. -Ed.]
Police discovered the cat in the trunk of a car being driven by Gary Korkuc, of Cheektowaga, N.Y., when they pulled him over for running a stop sign in August. He fled to Maryland following his arrest but was extradited back to Buffalo late on Thursday.
The animal was found in a liquid mixture of oil, crushed pepper, salt and other ingredients. Korkuc told police it was in preparation for a meal.
The cat, a male, survived. Several baths cleaned him of the concoction, and he seemed to be in good health otherwise, said Erie County SPCA spokeswoman Gina Browning.
Korkuc, 52, appeared in Buffalo City Court, where he is charged with felony aggravated cruelty to an animal and several traffic charges.
I’m just gonna go ahead and state the obvious here: who the hell marinates a live cat? Only the Japanese start preparing the animal while it’s still alive. Was it a Kobe cat? Jeez, at least shave the thing first. Otherwise you waste all that flavor on the fur.
The cat was adopted almost instantly following the incident, Browning said. “We had a list of people who wanted to adopt this cat,” she said. [Reuters]
Reached for comment, George Lucas said, “And it would’ve been mine too, if it hadn’t been for those meddling kids,” while angrily rubbing his palms together.