Senior Editor
09.08.09 25 Comments

(In retrospect, “Cutie McPretty” wasn’t the most intimidating nickname)

The last we heard about Rampage playing BA Baracus in the A-Team movie, The Sun had reported he’d been cast, then his publicist denied it.  His casting has since been de-facto confirmed as he pulled out (and Rampage hates pulling out) of his fight at UFC 107 so he could film the movie.  Which prompted a typical reaction from UFC president and awesome cuss-word-user Dana White:

“I hate it with a [expletive] passion…You’re a fighter; you’re not a movie star. It’s so [expletive] funny because fighters want to be movie stars, and movie stars want to act like they’re fighters. Get a [expletive] grip. You’re a fighter, and you’re (not) a [expletive] movie star. Alright?” [via Fightlinker]

Someone once gave the same speech to Kate Hudson.  In sexier news, Steven Soderbergh has cast Gina Carano in his aptly titled “Knockout,” which makes me worry that she won’t have time to film the movie I wrote for her, “Rear Naked Choke.”  (It’s autobiographical).

Scripted by Lem Dobbs, “Knockout” casts Carano as a girl from the wrong side of the tracks who is given a second chance to use her skills for constructive purposes. The film is a closer cousin to “La Femme Nikita” and “Kill Bill” than “Million Dollar Baby,” in that it doesn’t take place in the fight ring. Rather, Soderbergh considers the film as a flat out action film in the James Bond mold, and will shoot in locations around the world that include Ireland, Turkey and the U.S. [Variety via WatchKalibRun]

I could see Gina Carano as James Bond.  She’d slap you on the ass and say, “Run along, darling, women are talking,” and you would because she could kick your ass, and to hide your boner.  And finally, Tim Sylvia is a stand-in for Michael Myers in Rob Zombie’s Halloween 2 remake.  Stand-ins are the people they use to play the back of an actor’s head, or to stand there on set and act like the person on days when that person isn’t actually being filmed.  Meaning Sylvia, who last got knocked out by 48-year-old, has a film career that’s going about as well as his fighting career.  Which is to say, please don’t hurt me I was just kidding I’ll suck yo dick.

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