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"I can't believe people will pay to see this again!"
It’s awfully fitting that during the same week that I started writing my feature for the Worst Movies of 2011, the studio that gave us my choice for the Worst Movie of 2010 has announced that it wants a sequel. Sony has decided that the story of five childhood friends who reunite at a lake house after their lives had led them apart was worthy of another chapter despite having no plot point to continue. I watched Grown Ups – twice – and the only thought I had at the end was: “They should have stayed apart.”
I don’t need to guess why they’re trying to make this sequel. On a budget of $80 million, the original grossed $271 million worldwide. That’s good enough to make it the highest-grossing Happy Madison film in the history of a company founded on bad actors meeting Sandler at comedy clubs. In fact, it was so successful that Sandler purchased matching Maseratis for his co-stars, David Spade, Chris Rock, Kevin James and Rob Schneider.
So it shouldn’t surprise anyone that Sony wants another tug on the teat of Sandler’s cash cow. However, according to Variety and my prayers, Sandler isn’t signed on for anything. Yet.
Sandler has never appeared in a sequel and he has no deal in place for “Grown Ups 2,” as his involvement is contingent on the script. Still, the fact that Sandler would be open to a reunion likely comes as music to Sony’s ears. Happy Madison had no comment.
I assume the company did have a comment, but its spokesperson is Peter Dante in a graduate’s gown, and he just yelled random statements, and when the reporter asked him to clarify, Nick Swardson accused him of not getting it.
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Wait, you watched Grown Ups twice? Explain yourself.
Haven’t the last two Happy Madison movies bombed? I had hoped that we would finally be spared Sandler’s lazy ATM feeding ‘comedy’.
Sandler’s never done a sequel? My, what a bastion of integrity!
Ugh I do not want your job Ashley. You had to sit through Grown Ups twice and (I presume) Jack and Jill this year?
I’d sooner watch Peter Dante yelling random statements at me for two hours. In fact, that would be something I might enjoy.
In another few years Andy Serkis will reveal himself to have been ping-pong-suit-acting all of Peter Dante’s roles & commercial spots, making all of Sandler’s shitty movies the highest brow entertainment the fart-samplers of 2016 will ever enjoy
Sandler’s “involvement is contingent on the script” is the funniest line that will ever be associated with this sequel.
Free life tip: Train your brain to auto-correct any instance of ‘Peter Dante’ to ‘Peter Dinklage’. Your life will be much much happier.
Confession: I sat through “Grown Ups” too (I have kids and a wife with terrible taste in films). I’d love to know how the fuck they spent $80 million on it. Maybe I should be putting my 401k heavily into cheeseburger trough futures.
Sandler has never appeared in a sequel
*cough* Deuce Bigalow II: European Gigolo *cough cough*
Alternate caption: 2 out of every 4 men have vaginal dryness. But can you tell which?
Contingent on a script? Adam Sandler movies are like that on purpose?
Morty, being unfamiliar with the difference between Peters Dante and Andre has stood me in similar good stead.
@Lahey, read the Worst Movies of 2010 for the explanation.
@The Hammer, all Happy Madison movies not starring Sandler have bombed. But the Sandler-starring films make a shit ton at the box office. Even Zohan grossed over $100 million profit.
@LastTexansFan, I haven’t watched J&J yet. It’s all contingent on Vince sending me heroin.
@Burnsy I though Jack and Jill just bombed hard? I could be wrong
Sorry, perhaps I shouldn’t have cut Burnsy’s last paragraph about Jack and Jill earning $76 million worldwide on a $79 million budget.
Big thumbs up the man upstairs on this one. Who doesn’t want to watch a bunch of real life friends play a group of friends in a movie and basically blow a bunch of money having a good time.
I’m frosting my hair tonight.
How will they top the peeing in the pool? Pooing in the ocean and having it follow them in the wake?
@coked_up_jesus; I asked myself the same thing regarding the “Ocean” films.
Chocolate Wasted is also a term for an interracial gangbang.
Everyone hating on Sandler should really re-watch his early films which everyone seems to love for some reason. Seriously, they are just as terrible as anything he’s done recently. I blame you all for thinking that “O’Doyle Rules!” as a catchphrase, or 58 seconds of Chris Farley is enough to make a great movie.
@Burnsy Having read your explanation, there is no doubt that you are a better man than I am. Queuing it up a second time just to make sure you weren’t wrong the first time goes over and above the call of duty.