Halle Berry’s Child Support Bill: $16,000 A Month

Halle Berry was recently ordered to pay her ex Gabriel Aubry $16,000 a month in child support for their 6-year-old, which makes a lot of sense because I’ve heard you have to baste 6-year-olds with crushed up diamonds every hour or else they explode.

The agreement approved by Superior Court Judge Scott Gordon on May 30 calls for Berry to pay ex-boyfriend Gabriel Aubry $16,000 a month or nearly $200,000 a year to support their daughter. The Oscar-winning actress will also pay for their daughter’s tuition, but the former couple will split health care expenses.

The order also calls for Berry to pay her ex-boyfriend a retroactive payment of $115,000 and $300,000 to his attorneys to cover the costs of their custody dispute. [USA Today]

LA Unified school teacher, annual salary: $45,000 – $72,000.

Annual salary, guy who knocked up Halle Berry, not including work: $192,000

Let this be a lesson to anyone who ever has a chance to knock up a famous person. In fact, I’m thinking of renting an open-topped limo to drive to movie premieres where I can throw cups full of my semen at people. Hey, it’s worth a shot. And yeah, that’s right, I said cups. I’ve got a big freezer.