Senior Editor
04.13.09 11 Comments

Those creepy pedophiles at Disney have done it again, as Hannah Montana and her hillbilly overbite had a huge $34 million win at the box office in what was Hollywood’s biggest Easter weekend ever.  4 Fast 4 Furious dropped 59% from last week’s record opening to land in number two, followed by Monsters vs. Aliens, Observe and Report, and Knowing (full top 10 after the jump).

Among this year’s releases, five films have already jumped the $100 million mark domestically vs. just one last year (“Horton Hears a Who”).  The $100 million-plus club includes “Fast and Furious,” “Paul Blart: Mall Cop” ($143.2 million), “Monsters vs. Aliens” ($141 million), “Taken” ($140 million) and “Watchmen” ($105.9 million).

With “Observe and Report,” Rogen delivered his lowest opening outside of “Zack and Miri Make a Porno,” which opened to $10.1 million last year on its way to cuming $31.5 million domestically. Warners said the R-rated film won’t be a financial loser since it was produced for less than $18 million. [Variety]

The beauty of Hannah Montana is its utter half-assedness.  I can only imagine the pitch meeting.   Okay, people, I need ideas!  Let’s see… little girls seem to enjoy pretending that they’re celebrities.  Anyone?  Come on, no one has an idea?  What about you, Evans?  EVANS: Um…. how ’bout a show… about a little girl… …who’s a celebrity?  (four-second silence)  Evans, you’re a GENIUS!

THE END.  They broke for lunch after that, because developing it any further would’ve just been extra work.  Epilogue: Everything worked out and those guys got rich.  I f*cking hate kids.

  1. Hannah Montana – $34 million
  2. 4 Fast 4 Furious – $28.8 million
  3. Monsters vs. Aliens – 22.6
  4. Observe and Report – 11
  5. Knowing – 6.7
  6. I Love You, Man – 6.4
  7. Haunting in Connecticut – 5.7
  8. Dragonball Evolution – 4.7
  9. Adventureland – 3.4  [Yes, I was hoping to see it do better.  But with a cumulative gross of $11.4m and a price tag under $10, at least it’s earning out]
  10. Duplicity – 3

[via MediabyNumbers]

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