Help us, James Cameron, you’re our only hope!

Senior Editor
06.02.10 37 Comments

I don’t like to bring up the oil spill here because it’s depressing as hell, but it seems the slick has finally reached the coast of movie news (see what I did there?). The EPA is now asking James Cameron for ideas on how to stop the disaster and hey, wasn’t this a South Park episode?  By the way, if it’s fresh ideas you’re after, Hollywood’s not the best place to start.  Okay, AP writer, serve me up an awful movie pun:

WASHINGTON – “Top kill” didn’t stop the Gulf oil spill. How about something “titanic”?

Oof.  That was “Abyss”mal. I just wanted to “Shove You Down Stairs.” No, that one’s not a movie. Yet.

Federal officials are hoping film director James Cameron can help them come up with ideas on how to stop the disastrous oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.
The “Avatar” and “Titanic” director was among a group of scientists and other experts who met Tuesday with officials from the Environmental Protection Agency and other federal agencies for a brainstorming session on stopping the massive oil leak.
The Canadian-born Cameron is considered an expert on underwater filming and remote vehicle technologies. [AP]

Much as I enjoy ripping on James Cameron’s taste for cliché, oversimplified romance, you can’t deny that he’s an intelligent dude. And have we tried clogging the leak with bags of money and lady hair?  James Cameron could be your guy.

“I have an idea.  It’s kind of like a rhinoceros crossed with stegosaurus, except neon green.  And it eats oil, because that’s the main source of nutrients on its planet.  Hmm, one problem though, it lives on land.  We may have to build it some kind of snorkel.  Might be cheaper to do it CGI.”

“Get out.”

“Fine, I know when I’m not wanted.  To hell with you, sky people.  YAH!”

*flies off on rape pterodactyl*

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