HOLLYWOOD EXECS CAN’T READ

11.02.07 11 years ago 64 Comments

MTV has become like the fourth or fifth production company today to buy the rights to a comic graphic book novel, acquiring the rights to Hyperactive, a picture book by Scott Christian Sava about a teenager whose overactive metabolism grants him incredible speed and enhanced agility.

In the story, teen Joey Caram must constantly stay one step ahead of a pharmaceutical company who is chasing him to extract his DNA. Caram must evade capture and rescue his kidnapped family.
This is the second Sava graphic novel Benderspink has brought to a studio. In August, "Pet Robots" was acquired by Disney. Benderspink also is attached to produce Sava’s "Dino Wars" and "Animal Crackers." [Hollywood Reporter]

Dude, maybe you should just give them your DNA.  I’m pretty sure all they need is a strand of hair, it’s not like they’re asking for an anal probe or anything.  Sack up, man, they kidnapped your family.  And another thing, if having A.D.D . gave you superpowers, I’d be out saving orphanages and punch raping terrorists instead of taking amphetamine pills and trying to masturbate to six different pornos.  Okay, actually I’d probably just be using my powers of camoflauge to watch chicks pee (I guess I’m old fashioned like that).  Regardless, this whole project seems pretty far fetched.

You can read about all this and more in my upcoming graphic novel, "Graphic Novels Are Hella Unrealistic", soon to be a major motion picture. "Graphic Novel" joke, after the jump.

What did Helen Keller say when they handed her a cheese grater?

"Most violent book I ever read." 

*rimshot* 

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