Homeland Security Says There’s ‘No Credible Intelligence’ Regarding Movie Theater Attacks

Earlier today, the hacker group Guardians of Peace took their protest of the upcoming comedy film The Interview to another level by threatening terror attacks on movie theaters. Specifically, the group, as if run by college freshmen taking an easy poetry class, wrote, “Remember the 11th of September 2001,” while stating the “world will be full of fear” and we will soon “denounce the SONY.” Scary words, sure, but some of us just bought a brand new Xperia phone, so there’s really nothing we can do about it.

Still, the stars of The Interview, James Franco and Seth Rogen, have canceled all of their remaining promotional appearances for the movie, and that goes against the idea that we will not bow to terrorists. However, the Department of Homeland Security has finally responded to the incredibly ironic threats of the Guardians of Peace, and we are free to start cutting holes in the bottoms of our popcorn buckets.

“DHS is aware of a threat made online targeting movie theaters in the United States. We are still analyzing the credibility of these statements, but at this time there is no credible intelligence to indicate an active plot against movie theaters within the United States.” (Via Deadline)

Unless the Guardians’ plan is to make us laugh off their threats because they read like they were written by drunk toddlers, in which case we are walking right into a trap. Just like when you reach for that first handful of popcorn…