I Wish Sam Worthington Would Step Back From That Ledge, My Friend

For a while, it seemed like Sam Worthington was on pace to star in every movie for the next 10 years, but even an A-lister has to stop to roll around on top of his pile of Avatar cash for a few months. Worthington is back now with Man on a Ledge, playing a cop who spends two hours threatening to kill himself. Admittedly, I don’t know much beyond that so I turned to IMDb’s trusty cabal of commenters for the plot synopsis, which I have not edited for the sake of humor.

An ex-cop framed turned con threatens to jump to his death from a Manhattan hotel rooftop. The nearest New York Police officer immediately responds to a screaming women and calls dispatch. More Officers arrive with swat and tactical command along with FDNY. The NYPD then dispatches a female police psychologist personally requested to talk him down from the ledge. However, unbeknownst to the NYPD on the scene, the suicide attempt is a cover up for the biggest diamond heist ever pulled. Be ready to journey on a roller coaster ride of many twists and turns and see what happens! Written by Anonymous

Damn you, Anonymous. Is there no corner of this Internet that you can’t reach?

Thankfully, Man on a Ledge has a trailer out now, so we don’t have to guess the plot based on the description of my 10-year old niece. The film also stars Elizabeth Banks, Jamie Bell, Ed Harris, and Edward Burns, who I tell people I’m related to so I can feel cool.

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