James Deen, Teen Mom Farrah, and the evolution of the publicity stunt sex tape

As a rule, I try not to stay abreast of “news” concerning the “stars” of MTV’s Teen Mom. But then Teen Mom Farrah had to go and get mixed up with porn star-cum-movie star James Deen, and now she’s become some kind of cautionary tale for anyone trying to use a sex tape to get famous. It’s a bizarre dance we do, where you can catapult to fame from a sex tape, but only if you make it look like something you never wanted to get out (even though a sex tape couldn’t leak on much of a scale unless it has the star’s consent). Recently, it sounds like Farrah Abraham of Teen Mom and Vivid cooked up a plan to “leak” a sex tape starring her and James Deen. Only it backfired when Deen refused to play ball (heh) on the “oops, I didn’t know I was being filmed” part of the bargain. Oh, and also the part where he’s already a porn star. Mark your calendars, this is an important date in history.

Abraham is still bitter after Deen revealed her plot to follow reality starlets like Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian who shot to fame following sex tape scandals.
After adamantly denying she even made a sex tape, the 21-year-old finally confessed to doing it “for her personal collection” and that it was never intended to go public.
Deen’s admission paints a different picture stating Abraham knew all along that it would eventually be released and that the whole thing was staged.
“If you’re going to make a celebrity sex tape and try to pass it off as an amateur home video, you don’t hire a well-known porn star! You hire, like, some random dude,” he told Today.com.

Bingo, unlikely voice of reason James Deen, this is why the show isn’t called “Teen Brain Surgeon.” (By the way, I would totally watch Teen Brain Surgeon, in case anyone at MTV is reading this).

“It’s better for my sake, for my privacy to find the best and professional people,” Abraham said in her defense. “At the time I thought he would be professional and respectful and it’s really hurtful how he’s acted.”
The 27-year-old adult film star added that the producers behind the sex tape requested he pretend Abraham was his girlfriend.
“They wanted to send us out on a date and then call the tabloids to come,” Deen said. “I told them I am not a prostitute and I’m not going to go on fake dates with people for the tabloids.”
The plot thickens as Abraham’s demands of $2 million for the release of the tape has been denied by Vivid Entertainment, so she’s in turn filed a cease and desist letter blocking its debut.
The letter leaked to TMZ read, “Ms. Abraham retains ownership rights in this video and any unlawful conduct could infringe on those rights.” [NYDailyNews]

Abraham also told TMZ “His penis is small,” she said. “I haven’t seen many but his was definitely not big,” which is clearly an effective burn to use on someone whose penis is easily Googlable. Not to mention the greatest shock of all, that pregnant teenagers, it turns out, aren’t great at planning. I mean, I expect a 21-year-old on an MTV reality show to be a complete idiot, but there isn’t a single part of this story that doesn’t involve me wondering, “when did you get to Earth, lady, yesterday?”

All I’m saying is, we are witnessing a watershed moment in the history of the publicity stunt sex tape, and I want you all to recognize it.