USA Today recently did a profile on this year’s best supporting actor winner, JK Simmons, and don’t you worry, there’s a tempo pun in the first sentence. Ya know, in case you were worried they wouldn’t be able to squeeze one in there. Anyway, the profile focuses mostly on Simmons’ upcoming role in Terminator Genisys. Then there’s the requisite quote of him comparing this character to Fletcher, because God help them, entertainment journalists just can’t not ask a boring ass question about the character an actor will play.
Anyway, for my money, the most telling part of the piece concerned where Simmons stores his Oscar.
Meanwhile, he’s still getting used to sharing his space with an Oscar, which he moved from atop a mini-fridge in the bathroom of his Los Angeles home (right next to the tub) to a place of distinction on a bookshelf.
“It’s a lovely little statue,” says Simmons. “It’s still kind of surreal when I walk past it. It’s like, ‘There’s my Oscar.’ I don’t know it will ever become commonplace.” [USA Today]
That’s right, folks, JK Simmons has a mini fridge in the bathroom next to the tub. Talk about living the life. I like to imagine JK Simmons cracking open a bottle of Rolling Rock, leaning back in his bubble bath and smiling contentedly at his Oscar, maybe arcing a big piss stream straight up in the air, because why not? I’m JK f*cking Simmons, God dammit. And then maybe he turns to his Miles Teller poster and says “What are you looking at, f*ggot?” and laughs and laughs
Yep, I have a whole elaborate fantasy about JK Simmons’ bathing rituals now. He’s an inspiring man.