'Justice League' Script Doused In Gasoline, Tossed Into Massive Dumpster Fire

It wouldn’t be a day of the week ending in –y if we didn’t have some juicy HOTT GOSS about the Justice League movie, and wouldn’t you know it – it’s all really bad. First up, there’s a fat nugget of rumor jizz drying on our prom dresses regarding the first screenplay, penned by Gangster Squad’s Will Beall. According to Badass Digest, which is like Reader’s Digest but in a monster truck, Warner Bros. and DC read it and determined that they had approximately 110 pages of toilet paper.

The story from each source is the same: it’s terrible. Some sources seem to think the whole movie is going to fall apart and never happen, while some believe that Warner Bros will keep moving forward, unwilling to lose the superhero arms race.

Beall’s script was focusing on a 4-man and 1-woman Justice League, as Superman, The Flash, Green Lantern, Batman and Wonder Woman would be taking on Darkseid in an Avengers-like battle to save the Earth. Unfortunately, it seems that the Warner and DC execs have been f*cking with the story so much that Beall never stood a chance.

Beall’s script supposedly includes Darkseid and a heavy cosmic threat. But the script has been half-baked from the beginning, with reports saying that heroes (beyond the core five of Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, The Flash and Green Lantern) have been cut and added from the proceedings seemingly at studio executive will. The latest word was that Warner Bros, experiencing real cold feet, had decided to wait until The Man of Steel to really move forward, but it’s possible that moving forward now will mean a whole new script.

Keep in mind that this huge franchise tent pole of a film is scheduled to be released opposite Marvel’s The Avengers 2 in 2015, so naturally with all of this negative news pouring in on a weekly basis, some evil genius has to be cackling maniacally, right? In fact, it’s Fox’s Marvel consultant Mark Millar, who is currently working on a number of Marvel film projects. He thinks this whole Justice League thing is just stupid.

“I actually think the big problem for them is the characters are just too out of date,” said Millar, talking exclusively to SciFiNow. “The characters were created 75 years ago, even the newest major character was created 68 years ago, so they’re in a really weird time.”

“Now the stuff I grew up with… I adored the DC stuff growing up but really, how do you do a movie about Green Lantern,” asks Millar, “his power is that he manifests green plasma from his imagination and uses them as weapons against someone? Even that in itself if you just imagine then watching a fight scene with a guy who’s like a hundred feet away making plasma manifestations fight someone – it’s not exactly raucous, getting up close and personal.

“The Flash has door handles on the side of his mask and if he doesn’t wear that mask, I’ll be pissed off, you know what I mean? They’re in a weird, weird situation – if you’ve got a guy who moves at the speed of light up against the Weather Wizard and Captain Cold or whatever, then your movie’s over in two seconds.

“You can get away with stuff in comics that in live action’s just a bit sucky – the best one is definitely Aquaman. Aquaman can’t even talk under water. If you think about it in comics it’s fine, you just have a speech balloon, but how do you have Atlantis and people talking under water? Are they gonna talking telepathically? Is it going to be body forms? The actual logistics of each member of the Justice League is disastrous, and you put them all together and I think you get an excellent way of losing $200 million.”

Responded one DC rep, “Oh yeah? Yo mama.”