‘Justin Bieber’s Believe’ Tries Hard to Make Justin Bieber Seem Sympathetic, Fails Miserably

If it seems like there was already a “documentary” about Justin Bieber, it’s because there was, Never Say Never, back in 2011. If you ignored that one as hard as I did, you’ll be equally disappointed to learn that there’s another one, Justin Bieber’s Believe, set for Christmas Day. Both from Step Up 2 The Streets director/choreographer Jon M. Chu, the first one told the story of Justin Bieber’s rise from Canadian obscurity to set the tween world on fire with his stupid bangs.

Now the sequel seems to be trying to tell an equally uplifting tale about Justin Bieber’s courageous battle to rise above his haters, who bruise his delicate skin with their cruel word-fists. I don’t know about all of that, but if the goal was to get me to shout “PULL UP YOUR DAMN PANTS!” at my computer monitor, success achieved.

Does it ever blow your mind that Ryan Seacrest is still a thing?

The Quotable Bieber:

“Of course I’ve been in love. I think being in love is the most powerful thing.”

“It started with the fans, so it’s gotta end with the fans.”

“Some times you have to take matters into your own hands and fly.”

It’s almost like he’s having a competition with himself to see who can come up with the most meaningless statement. “Tonight we’ve got a stacked card, featuring a young Mike Tyson vs. a frail Bangladeshi orphan. But get this, Mike: the orphan is in love.”

Oh, and my personal favorite:

“It’s back to being the underdog.”

So true! I really hope you finally find some success, Justin Bieber! #Blessed