Senior Editor
08.28.09 13 Comments

(*softly weeping*)

The trailer for Stan Helsing starts with “From one of the guys who brought you Scary Movie.”  Which is kind of like starting an interview with the Anti-Defamation League “Hi, I’m Heinrich Himmler.”  As if that weren’t bad enough, it also has Kenan Thompson in it, and halfway through the trailer he gets to put his painfully unfunny paws all over my girlfriend Diora Baird’s spectacular boobs, made from rainbows and the fur of newborn kittens.

“I’m not fair,” said the universe, when reached for comment.  And if you were wondering whether the trailer has a record-scratch sound effect, you better f’cking believe the trailer has a record scratch sound effect.

Once upon a time, parody movies were fun, probably because even though they aimed low, they had people working on them who had some conception of what comedy might look or sound like.  Stan Helsing comes from Bo Zenga, whose name sounds like something you might shout during a magic trick.  “Bozenga!  For my next trick, I’ll make the laughter disappear!”  Here’s some of his IMDB profile:

Bo Zenga is a graduate of the University of Pennsylvania where he attended the Wharton Business School and was the Chairman of the Finance Committee, which financed all activities for the University. He started out as a banker on Wall Street for what is now J.P. Morgan Chase. After moving to Los Angeles he studied filmmaking at the American Film Institute. He has been under contract with the major studios as a producer and as a screenwriter since 1996.

Bo is a favorite of the “A List” with such distinguished talent as Steven Spielberg, Tom Cruise, Nicolas Cage, Ron Howard, Will Smith, and John Travolta having been attached to his projects.

Oh really? I see your lips moving, but all I heard was “I co-wrote Soul Plane.”

[via LiveforFilms]

Around The Web