Senior Editor
07.10.09 13 Comments

Yesterday Kevin Smith took to his Twitter to give his fans and near million followers just what what they want: a graphic, disgusting mental picture of his tubby ass having sex with his wife. He tweefed (I’m trying to get “tweef” recognized as the verb form):

Ten years in and we bone like we’re cheating on each other WITH each other. A decade-plus and her clit/brown/taint-area still pOwns my dick.

To which he later added:

On a roll this week: we’ve f-cked twice a day every day since Sunday. With little fanfare I’m trying to make it a solid four weeks straight. [via Videogum]

But time out, what does “clit/brown/taint area” mean?  The slashes seem to indicate that it’s all one place.  So I ask: did Kevin Smith’s wife’s vag, taint, and butthole areas all merge into one mega orifice, the way San Diego, Santa Barbara, and L.A. became San Angeles in Demolition Man?  Does Kevin Smith’s wife have a gaping hybrid hole?  And if so, is that the secret to a happy marriage?  I guess I just don’t understand this romantic stuff.

[and yes, that’s Kevin Smith’s wife in Playboy. Uncensored version here.]

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