Senior Editor
02.08.08 45 Comments

People always ask me why I’m so mean to children – mainly it’s because they’re idiots and they have terrible taste in everything. Need proof? Here are the nominees for Kids Choice Awards – full list after the jump.

Movie: "Alvin and the Chipmunks," "Are We Done Yet?," "The Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End," "The Transformers."

Male Movie Star: Ice Cube, Johnny Depp, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Eddie Murphy.

Animated Movie: "Shrek The Third," "Bee Movie," "Ratatouille," "The Simpsons Movie."

Female Movie Star: Jessica Alba, Drew Barrymore, Kirsten Dunst, Keira Knightley [What, no Carmen Electra? – Ed.]

This reminds me of a poster I saw in the subway that said "Free Abortion Alternatives", and all I could think of was Why would you want alternatives when you’re already getting a free abortion?  Just seems greedy. 

Voice From an Animated Movie: Cameron Diaz, Mike Meyers, Eddie Murphy, Jerry Seinfeld.

Song: "Beautiful Girls" (Sean Kingston), "Big Girls Don’t Cry" (Fergie), "Don’t Matter," (Akon), "Girlfriend" (Avril Lavigne.)

Male Singer: Bow Wow, Chris Brown, Soulja Boy, Justin Timberlake.

Music Group: Boys Like Girls, Fall Out Boy, Jonas Brothers, Linkin Park.

Female Singer: Beyonce, Fergie, Miley Cyrus, Alicia Keys.

TV Show: "Drake & Josh," "Hannah Montana," "iCarly," "The Suite Life of Zack and Cody."

Reality Show: "America’s Next Top Model," "American Idol," "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?," "Deal or no Deal."

Television Actress: Miley Cyrus ("Hannah Montana"), Emma Roberts ("Unfabulous"), Jamie Lynn Spears ("Zoey 101"), Raven-Symone ("That’s So Raven").

Television Actor: Drake Bell ("Drake & Josh"), Josh Peck ("Drake & Josh"), Dylan Sprouse ("The Suite Life of Zack and Cody"), Cole Sprouse ("The Suite Life of Zack and Cody").

Cartoon: "Avatar: The Last Airbender," "Ed, Edd and Eddy," "The Simpsons," "SpongeBob SquarePants."

Male Athlete: Tony Hawk, Shaquille O’Neal, Alex Rodriguez, Tiger Woods.

Female Athlete: Cheryl Ford, Danica Patrick, Serena Williams, Venus Williams.

Video Game: "Dance Dance Revolution," "Guitar Hero," "High School Musical: Sing It!", "Madden NFL ’08."

Book: "Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight, Volume One: The Long Way Home," "Diary of a Wimpy Kid," "Harry Potter series," "How to Eat Fried Worms."


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