Kirsten Dunst: “I couldn’t have done Antichrist because my boobs are too big.”

Kirsten Dunst gets naked for Lars Von Trier’s upcoming film Melancholia, the kind of news that probably would’ve popped a blood vessel in my eye if this was 2003. It’s not nearly as graphic (or sexy) as what Charlotte Gainsbourg had to go through on Von Trier’s last film, Antichrist, but in a recent interview with The Guardian, Dunst says she wouldn’t have been able to get away with that role anyway. Because her dang boobs are just so darn big.

Look, she says: she agreed to make Melancholia because she loved the script. It’s not as if he had asked her to make Antichrist, the director’s previous film, in which Charlotte Gainsbourg played a bereaved mother who mutilates her own genitals. “That kind of film is harder for someone like me to get away with. I’m more in the public eye than Charlotte.” She pauses to reconsider. “It’s something about Charlotte’s body, too. You couldn’t have someone like me, with big breasts, in that film. Charlotte’s thin and her breasts are small and that’s easier to watch somehow. For someone like me to do that film – it would almost be ridiculously shocking.”

Kirsten Dunst complaining about the discrimination she faces as a big-breasted actress is a lot like me complaining about the disadvantages of being a white male. You’re not always wrong, but in light of the other advantages, it’s probably best to just shut the f*ck up.