When they came for the stem cells I applauded. When they turned a spandex-wearing British thespian into an ape I laughed. When they put a supercomputer in my cell phone I said nothing. But today, science has gone too far. TOO FAR! Thanks to some pioneering work in the art of creating digitized f*cktaurs, actors can now appear in a Lars Von Trier art film about hardcore sex without even having the hardcore sex. I for one think it’s unnatural. (*grabs pitchfork and dildo*)
Lars Von Trier’s Nymphomaniac, starring Charlotte Gainsbourg, Stellan Skarsgard, Shia Labeouf, and Uma Thurman, is about “one woman’s erotic adventures from youth to age 50,” and basically sounds like a real-life version of the fictional Rochelle Rochelle from Seinfeld. Earlier this year, LaBeouf told MTV that he’d be having “sex for real” in the movie, a part he reportedly earned by sending Von Trier tapes of himself having sex with his girlfriend, because actors are totally stable. But now, according to a Nymphomaniac producer, it won’t be the movie stars having sex in the film, just their torsos, digitally grafted to the genitals of body doubles who’ll be doing the actual dongs-going-in bits.
Nymphomaniac producer Louise Vesth provided a sneak peek into what we can expect. Vesth confirmed that the doubled-barreled feature will include graphic sex scenes between the members of the all-star cast, including Charlotte Gainsbourg, Stellan Skarsgard, Shia LaBeouf and Uma Thurman.
For the truly hard-core elements of the film, von Trier used body doubles for the stars. But, Vesth revealed, the Danish director will use digital technology to combine the actors’ non-explicit displays with the pornographic performance of the doubles.
“We shot the actors pretending to have sex and then had the body doubles, who really did have sex, and in post we will digital-impose the two,” Vesth explained. “So above the waist it will be the star and the below the waist it will be the doubles.” [HollywoodReporter]
It makes you wonder if the genital models are getting shafted, having to do all the dirty work and getting none of the recognition. Once upon time a nice young man or lady could compensate for their lack of fame or acting ability with a willingness to show off the goods, and hope to get arrested that way. Or, maybe they want it this way, where the sex is its own reward and the anonymity just makes it easier? And do the actors get to pick their own genital doubles? How good a casting job are we trying to do here? So many questions, you guys.
All I know is, if I was a body double for this, I’d want my official title to be “Sex Idiot.”
[picture source]
Incidentally, Lars Von Trier once direted a movie called “The Idiots,” about a group of people who pretend to be mentally challenged for fun and have faux-retarded (fully hardcore) orgies in fields, so you could actually argue that Lars Von Trier invented the sex idiot concept in the first place.