First trailers for Jason Reitman’s Labor Day, starring Josh Brolin as a sexy murderer

Jason Reitman is known for directing Juno, Young Adult, and Up in the Air, but his latest, Labor Day, is supposedly a huge departure (as if his other three movies weren’t already departures from each other). Based on a Joyce Maynard novel of the same name, it stars Josh Brolin as an escaped convict who kidnaps his way to a family’s heart over the course of a Labor Day weekend. Kate Winslet plays the mom who falls in love with the burly con. As I’ve always said, the fastest way to a woman’s heart is through the ropes on her bound wrists. I believe that’s also the 50 Shades of Grey model. Chicks, man.

Here’s the official trailer. The “online exclusive” is below, via SlashFilm. Ooh, look at them make a peach pie. “This is a tasty peach.” Mmm, yeah, get wrist deep in those gooey peaches, sailor.

Has there ever been a more obvious sexual metaphor than making a peach pie together? Banana cream, maybe.

I love Reitman, but the reviews for this have me a little worried. It’s generally a bad sign when the positive reviews are calling it “lyrical.” Not to mention “implausible” and “contrived.” And again, those were the positive ones. That said, most critics are idiots, who aren’t fit to scrub the skidmarks out of my bike shorts. YOU AND ME, ROEPER! YOU BEEN DUCKIN’ ME TOO LONG!