In her latest movie, Christina Ricci plays a sexy corpse, a role for which she’s been seemingly preparing her entire life. It’s called After.Life (pronounced “After Dot Life”) and it co-stars Liam Neeson as the funeral director who communicates with the dead to help them transition to the afterlife. If it seems that Liam Neeson is in everything lately, that’s because L Neezy ain’t allergic to cash money, y’all. You may have also noticed that this borrows the premise of movies like the Sixth Sense and Ghost. Which only makes me imagine Liam Neeson ably straddling me as I work at the pottery wheel, his hands gently but firmly guiding mine as we form a giant penis made of clay. I know what you’re thinking, and yes, Whoopi is there too.
(Aw, she’s about to cut him a slice of the pie she just made, that’s so sweet. More girls should dress like this when they bake.)
I suppose it’d be too easy to make a corpse/skull/giant forehead joke
Ditto.
To convince herself that she’s dead she should just check a mirror. I haven’t seen that much skull since…
Ok, it’s not too easy… *sulks away*
There’s always a bigger forehead.
So is he looking for a little Necro-“feel ya” or what?
I know I
dowould.Is this a sequel to Casper?
If he wants to prove to her that she’s dead, he should just take her skiing.
I hope Justin Long dies a horrible death
Won’t Dot See
Christina Ricci is normally as attractive as the pencil jar on my desk but goddamn if Black Snake Moan didn’t make me want to chain a nymphomaniac to my radiator
(Aw, she’s about to cut him a slice of the pie she just made, that’s so sweet. More girls should dress like this when they bake.)
Mary-Louise Parker FTW.
Mary Louise Parker indeed!
I have developed a certain set of skills, skills that allow me to talk to dead people and help them transition into the afterlife. Now you can go through all of this soul-searching to get you there, or for a fastpass we can get it on and my righteous penis shall shoot you straight to heaven.. if you catch my drift
He’s the Devil or GTFO
Who else was hoping for a dodgeball to slam into Justin Long’s face? Come on, I can’t be the only one.