Lindsay Lohan “is literally falling apart” & weekend preview

Senior Editor
09.03.10 14 Comments

Don’t worry, I’m still doing a normal Weekend Preview post.  I just thought we could also enjoy Machete’s Lindsay Lohan butchering the English language.  Unless… is leprosy an STD?  (thanks to Dan M for the tip)

OPENING THIS WEEKEND (trailers after the jump)

The Movie: Machete, what happens when people stop being polite, and start f*cking with the wrong Mexican.
The Buzz: Most people seemed to like it more than I did, and I admit, aside from Grindhouse/Planet Terror, I was never much of a Robert Rodriguez fan.  There’s lots to love (just like your mom’s AdultFriendfinder profile), I just wish it was better.  And I wholly support putting Danny Trejo in every movie possible.  Actual exchange during a Danny Trejo radio interview: FILMDRUNK COMMENTER PAULY: “You’re like the Mexican Chuck Norris.”  DANNY TREJO: “Chále, Chuck Norris dresses like me for Halloween.”

The Movie: Going the Distance, a long-distance relationship comedy starring Justin Long and Drew Barrymore
The Buzz: Despite the fatal flaw of having Drew Barrymore play the lead in a rom-com, it’s actually gotten good reviews out of a couple people I respect, and has It’s Always Sunny’s Charlie Day, comedian Jim Gaffigan, and Rob Riggle in supporting roles (not to mention Jason Sudeikis and Ron Livingston).  I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s decent, but when someone says “starring Drew Barrymore!” all I hear is “step inside for a painful anal probe!

The Movie: The American, George Clooney plays an aging hitman who thinks he’s beyond redemption when on his last job, a mysterious stranger changes everything because we’ve never seen that before.
The Buzz:  (*snoooooore*) Wha? What happened?  Put it back on, I was just resting my eyes.

Notable Limited Releases:
A Woman, A Gun, And a Noodle Shop:  Hero director Zhang Yimou’s remake of the Coen Brothers Blood Simple opens today in New York and LA. Little known fact: 50 Cent once had a song about “taking you to the noodle shop” the he wisely left on the cutting room floor.

Louis CK: Hilarious: Documentary on comedian Louis CK featuring mostly footage of his stand up is now playing in Austin, Boston, San Francisco, Chicago, LA, New York, Philadelphia, and DC. I wouldn’t want more of the guy who famously wrote, “I want to rub my father’s c*ck all over Sarah Palin’s fat t*ts.”  I love that man.

The American

Going the Distance


A Woman, a Gun, and a Noodle Shop

Louis CK introduces Hilarious at Sundance

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