Lindsay Lohan’s Liz & Dick Poster is pure elegance

Just in time for her latest arrest, Lifetime (via People) has released a poster of Lindsay Lohan in Liz and Dick, her biopic TV movie about Elizabeth Taylor starring the absent Grant Bowler as the titular Dick. Ha, “titular dick.” Just the way your mother likes it. Anyway, it seems they’ve taken the Google search optimization approach to taglines. Hey, you guys know words within images don’t count towards keyword density, right? Pff, amateurs. KATE UPTON’S BOOBS NIP SLIP UPSKIRT LESBIAN KITTEN ORGY! See? That’s how it’s done, losers.

That “DIAMONDS” and “PROVOCATIVE” are double the font size of “beautiful” and “leading lady” should tell you everything you need to know about the production (did they have collagen injections in the sixties? Oh well.). Are they serious with this? This looks like they let an Asian caricature from an eighties movie put it together. “Okay, round eye, dis what computa toad me bout Riz Tayra.”