Miley Cyrus’s new movie is going direct to DVD, basically

According to the LA Times, Miley Cyrus’s new movie isn’t going direct to DVD, but just barely. It’s called LOL, and Miley’s character is named Lol (short for Lola), which means the screenwriter is probably going to win the Oscar for Most Clever Dude Ever. But it turns out, some folks at Lionsgate may have had second thoughts about the public’s appetite for a 19-year-old hillbilly with no discernible talent other than being born to novelty country singer and sounding like someone’s pinching her nose shut when she talks.

Azuelos said she was told by Lionsgate executives that they couldn’t give “LOL” the proper attention until after “Hunger Games.” “They couldn’t take care of my movie, and I waited in line,” the director said, sounding frustrated.
In fact, “LOL” would likely have gone direct to DVD, the knowledgeable people said, but Mandate’s contracts with foreign distributors contained a provision that the movie must be shown domestically in at least 100 theaters. As a result, the studio has very quietly decided to release “LOL” in seven cities on May 4, the same day as the sure-to-be blockbuster “Avengers,” which is expected to open to more than $100 million.
Lionsgate set the May 4 date recently without making any formal announcement and has apparently planned to do no publicity.
In a sign of how low a priority “LOL” is at Lionsgate, its marketing is being handled by the studio’s home entertainment division, not its theatrical marketing team, which typically oversees any release going to theaters.

Wait, wait! No, I’ve got it. This the easiest local news anchor lead-in ever. It writes itself! “MILEY CYRUSs’s new movie LOL hits select THEATERS this weekend, but according to director LISA Azuelos, the studio’s TREATMENT of it is NO LAUGHING MATTER. Wink Plitchkin has our story. Wink?”

An English-language adaptation of the hit 2008 French film of the same name, “LOL” is about teen romance in the age of texting and social media [BLOGGING! WEB 2.0! THE INFOTAINMENT SUPERHIGHWAY!]. The picture’s sophisticated tone is set in one of its first scenes when Cyrus takes a shower while her mother, played by Demi Moore, takes a bath in the same room. The two have a frank talk about sexuality after Moore’s character notices that her naked daughter has had a Brazilian wax. [LATimes]

Ooh, that does sound sophisticated. I wonder if she was sipping a kombucha tea with her pinkie out while they were discussing Miley’s cooter hair. “Princess, would you please be a dear and retrieve mother’s bustle, it seems to have fallen– GOODNESS! Whatever have you done to your lady thicket? Heavens, you look like a syphilitic!”

Between this, Dinner for Schmucks, and Carnage, I feel okay putting a stop to all future remakes of French films.