Live Trailer Blog: ‘Captain America: The Winter Soldier’

02.12.14 5 years ago 8 Comments

Behold, the marketing gods have seen fit to reward us with another trailer for Captain America: The Winter Soldier! Which means it’s time for another award-winning episode of “Live Trailer Blog”!

:22: This looks like a non-starter. If this guy IS a ghost and most of the intelligence doesn’t even believe he exists, then there’s no chance he’ll be an issue for our heroes. Maybe this will turn out to be a rom-com.
:25: Ghosts always walk around in the fog. That’s how you know they’re ghosts.
:26: “I’ll never find him?” Well not with that kind of attitude I wont!
:50: You know a guy is legit when he blows up a car and then just barely gets out of the way of the smoldering wreckage. Also, this isn’t a very good rom-com so far.
1:05: I’m starting to think Captain America is screwed this time. No chance he can defeat this Winter Wonderland Guy. He’s too strong. He hops around freeways like a rabbit. It’s too wintery.
1:14: “People are gonna die?” Well, yeah, with that kind of attitude they sure will!
1:28: How come the answer to “When do we start?” is never, “Next Tuesday, after the hockey game?” To me, that’s a more appropriate starting time. Everyone in these movies has such wide open schedules.
1:40: Nope, freedom isn’t free. There’s a hefty frickin’ fee.
1:48: There’s so many movies nowadays where you can’t trust anyone. You’ll just have to trust me on that.
1:55: I’m excited for the elevator fight. That’s how I feel every time someone pushes a button to only go up one floor.
2:12: This movie has so much action, surprising no one.
2:25: How do we know the know the good guys from the bad guys? Easy. The bad guys wear white after labor day.

Sooooo, that looks like … a Marvel Movie. Get out the stamp, write a few checks, and let the big money roll in. If only it were so simple for those of us employed in the pork bellies futures market. Alas, it t’waren’t and never will be.

Around The Web