Taint Misbehavin’: Man Caught Injecting Heroin Into his Genitals in Theater Bathroom

As it turns out, theater bathrooms are happening places. While I mostly use them for urinating and shining my penny loafers with fake butter sauce, you can find all sorts of interesting things there, Cops’ abandoned service Glocks, guys shooting heroin into their genitals…

An Albuquerque man faced a judge on Sunday after police say he was caught injecting drugs into his genitals. Police say security at the Century 14 theatre downtown was tipped off that a man was urinating in a bathroom sink. When security found the man, Thomas Ross, they say he had a needle and was injecting something into his groin.

“Whoa whoa whoa, relax, I wasn’t peeing in the sink, I was just mainlining smack through my pee hole!” I suppose he could’ve gone with the “wide stance” defense.

Police say Ross had heroin on him when they took him into custody. [KOB]

Does it bug anyone else that they didn’t specify whether it was his penis, balls, scrotum, or taint? The fact that they said “groin” and not “genitals” makes me think it was the taint. But is the taint considered a genital? Is it part of the groin? Frankly this raises more questions than it answers.

Either way, it’s sad. These kids today are just too impressionable for Hollywood to continue making irresponsible films like these: