Mel Gibson Carries Bulging Rucksack

Senior Writer
07.22.10 20 Comments

Like most blue collar Americans, I only get my news from celebrity Twitter feeds, so my life has been revolving around two stories for the past month: 1) Does Kim Kardashian have a crush on Ashton Kutcher? 2) What’s up with that crazy Mel Gibson fella? And while there’s a possibility that Mel’s racist, horrifyingly sexist, and all-around batsh*t rants were part of some grand extortion scheme by his charming ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva, Braveheart’s pretty much screwed. But perhaps there’s a better explanation for his apparent insanity…

Gibson recently sat down with novelist Walter Kim for a feature in American Men’s Journal, and that’s crazy enough because Gibson is Australian! But Kim detailed some very unusual behavior by Gibson that included a small case in which he keeps the very secrets to the universe.

Spray some lotion into my palm and give me 4 minutes, Daily Mail:

Gibson, Kirn says, arrived and immediately unzipped a small black case containing a mysterious plastic tube from which he squeezed a noxious yellow ointment that he proceeded to rub over his forearms.

The actor told him the substance, called Selegiline, was derived from cows’ brains.

‘Mel claimed that it cleans the neurotransmitters and sharpens mental focus,’ Kirn adds.

In fact, Selegiline – one of many potions and lotions Gibson carries with him everywhere in a bulging rucksack – is a powerful drug that is used to treat depression, Parkinson’s disease and senile dementia.

Kirn, the author of Up In The Air, which was made into an acclaimed movie starring George Clooney last year, says Gibson told him the drug was helping him with the ‘male menopause’.

Male menopause is serious business, people. Symptoms include floppy man boobs, the desire to bang gold-digging Russian chicks, sloppy skunk beards, anti-Semitic and racist rants, and lots of baby punching. It’s unfortunate that Mel has already pulled his alcoholic card, but he still has sex addiction as an available excuse. After that, though, he’ll only be able to use heroin and Thai lady boy addiction as excuses, so he has to play this one just right.

Also, I found this interesting:

Comedienne Joan Rivers has come out publicly to call on fans to boycott the Braveheart star’s movies, and members of the American pressure group the National Association for the Advancement of Coloured People are discussing mounting demonstrations at cinemas showing his films.

Joan Rivers. Seriously? Is Phyllis Diller joining her cause soon? And what cinemas are currently showing Mel Gibson films? I hope they’re not planning on going after my favorite dollar theater that is still showing Edge of Darkness. It’s getting Grown Ups in two months, so the NAACP better not ruin my chances of seeing it.

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