47-year-old director and C4 enthusiast Michael Bay showed up the other night to the Chateau Marmont* accompanied by a still-unidentified mystery woman. A late-night Ferrari polishing, perhaps? They separated and went in different entrances as soon as they saw the cameras, Michael Bay with an impish, probably-about-to-get-a-BJ smirk on his face, an exchange I like to think went down something like this:
MICHAEL BAY: Uh oh, babe, paparazzi. Time to am-scray. Meet you inside? (*explosion sound*)
As far as I know, the woman has yet to be identified, and Michael Bay may not even know her name himself, but my sources tell me he calls her by pulling up Siri and making a car horn sound with his mouth.
*Every single damned time I type that name I want to type “Chateau Marmot.” Easier to type, and even better as a hotel concept.