UPDATE: Some guy tried to hit Michael Bay with an air conditioner – AND FAILED. BOOM.

Earlier this morning I told you about an attack on Michael Bay in Hong Kong that was reported by the Associated Press. According to that account, two guys had tried to extort money from Bay and hit him in the face before fighting with police and getting arrest. Now comes word from a Bay spokesperson that the attacker wasn’t an extortionist at all, but a drugged out whack job swinging an air conditioner. Jesus, how small are air conditioners in Hong Kong?

The spokesman, via the New York Times:

Contrary to several erroneous news reports made today, Bay did not get hurt in a fight on set. The production company did have a bizarre encounter with a man (allegedly under the influence of a narcotic substance) who was wielding an air conditioning unit as a weapon. The man, who had earlier accosted several other crew members, rushed onto the set in Quarry Bay and swung the air conditioning unit directly at Bay’s head. The director ducked and wrested the air conditioner from his attacker, preventing what could have been a serious accident. The company’s security team quickly stepped in and subdued the assault. The police, who also scuffled with the assailant and two of his companions, ultimately arrested the three men. No one on the cast or crew was injured and the production immediately resumed filming without further incident.

I like to imagine that Michael Bay has his own team of North Korean propagandist working spin control at all times.

“The attack was actually much more serious than originally thought, and was started by a drugged out psychopath wielding a dangerous weapon. Contrary to earlier reports, Michael Bay was neither struck nor injured because he used his beautiful hair as a cloak of invisibility. Air conditioner was no match for hair conditioner and he subdued the attacker easily, handing him over to police. The only damage to Bay was his shirt, which became unbuttoned down to the upper navel, revealing his chiseled chest. Schoolchildren filed out of their classrooms to cover him in rose petals and the finest perfumes, while a 360-degree crane shot rotated around him, filming him triumphantly as he motorboated three busty supermodels in celebration, in Michael Bay we trust, forever and ever (*explosion sound*)”

I could try to name this attacker, but there’s no way I’m doing better than this guy on Twitter who called him a “decept-air-con.” Yup.