‘Michael Fassbender gave horses erections’

Obviously, there isn’t much to add to this story.  Huh, Mia Wasikowska’s neck looks shorter in that picture. (I kid, I kid, she’s cuter than a basket of snuggle puppies)

Fassbender’s “Jane Eyre” co-star Mia Wasikowska spoke to Movie Line about Fassbender’s maddening effect on their equine co-stars, saying his good looks helped make it nearly impossible to film.

“There was a horse on the third day of filming [when] we were shooting the scene where Jane and Rochester meet, and every time Michael hopped on the horse it got a huge erection,” Wasikowskia remembered. “And he’d get off and they’d run the poor thing around the block to try to make it go away, and he’d hop on it again and it would happen all over again, and they’d have to get him off and run it around.” [HuffPo]

Michael F. Assbender, The face that launched a thousand horse boners.  It’s magical, his ability to arouse horses.  I’d call him “The Horse Boner Fairy,” but I’m pretty sure I’ve already seen that movie.  It was good.  I think they used the same set as The King’s Speech. (…The Boner Whisperer?)

(*house band playing “Gimme Some Lovin”, enters stage left, waves to crowd*)  “So apparently Michael Fassbender gives horses boners!  Have you guys seen this?  Have you heard about this?  Yeah, every time he’d get on it, the horse would get a big boner and they’d have to spray it with cold water.  (*cut to Danger Guerrero at the keyboards, shaking his head*)  It’s true! I’m serious, I’m not making this up.  Apparently they tried to cast Sarah Jessica Parker, but no one wanted to ride her!  (*pantomimes golf swing, Danger Guerrero plays keyboard run, crowd woofs*) …But then once they had a horse boner attached, John Travolta came on as exec producer.” (*rimshot, bluesy guitar lick*)