Michael Moore and Harvey Weinstein Reached A Settlement Over Fahrenheit 9/11 Profits

02.16.12 16 Comments

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In my continued attempts to explain film-related legal issues in a more simple, straightforward manner than you will see in most mainstream outlets, I bring you this news: Michael Moore and the Weinstein brothers have settled their lawsuit over the profits from Fahrenheit 9/11.

Basically, here’s what happened: A couple chubby blowhards worked together to make a movie about 9/11, and the movie made a cubic buttload of money. Then the one blowhard was like “Okay, here’s your cut” and the other blowhard was all “Yo this seems a little light, ése” and the first blowhard was like “Eh, blow me.” So the second blowhard was like “I am going to do a bunch of research about this, okay I am done with the research now and you hid 2.7 million big ones in profits to avoid paying me” and the first blowhard was all “I repeat, blow me. And if anyone in the press is listening you can quote me on that.” Then the second blowhard went “I’ll see you in court” and the first blowhard screamed “THHUUUNNDDEEERRDDOOOMMEEE” — which is a standard answer to a complaint in California — so they went to court and ended up settling all secret-like for an undisclosed amount.

In summation, my OFFICIAL LEGAL ANALYSIS is that both of these guys should probably lose a couple pounds or calm down a little because all this stress can’t be good for their hearts. Here to help.

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