When you’ve got a movie about robots that punch each other starring Josh Duhamel, you can’t hire just any actors. Which is why it’s with a sigh of relief and a robust queef of contentment that I report that Transformers 3 has added Oscar winner Frances McDormand and Oscar nominee John Malkovich to the cast. I don’t think I could sum it up any better than /Film:
Michaelbay.com was updated this morning, with Bay writing that he has “just locked in” Frances McDormand and John Malkovich as cast members for Transformers 3. According to Deadline, McDormand will have a major role in the film as the National Intelligence Director, while Malkovich will play “Shia’s character’s first boss.” Those who think that the casting of McDormand and Malkovich represent an upgrade in terms of acting pedigree for this series should remember: these are the films that cast Cannes Best Actor award-winner John Turturro and forced him to a) Get pissed on by a robot, and b) Show his ass cheeks for no reason whatsoever.
Whoa whoa whoa, let’s not look a gift shot of John Turturro’s ass in the cornhole here, ingrate. Anyway, /Film goes onto report that Community‘s Ken Jeong has also landed a part in the movie. I think I have an idea how that will turn out…
MUDFLAP and SKIDS, pants sagging, loudly talking jive, wheel into Korean grocery store and begin reading Black Tail Magazine.
KEN JEONG walks out from behind counter
How many time I tew you, my store not ribrary! No read magazine! You buy or you reave!
MUDFLAP and SKIDS are forced to tearfully admit that they cannot read. MEGAN FOX gets fingered by a robot. MUDFLAP and SKIDS masturbate.