Trailer: Vince Vaughn plays a delivery man whose sperm always leads to delivery, man.

One thing we love around here is making up fake Vince Vaughn movies, like “Firehouse Dad,” and “Carpool Crashers.” Thus, you may be tempted to think this one is another joke. Believe it or not, “Delivery Man” is very, very real. It stars Vince Vaughn as… wait for it… a delivery man… for his family’s deli… who finds out that he’s fathered more than 500 women through donated sperm. Get it?? “Delivery Man,” because his sperm always delivers! And also because he’s an actual delivery man! IT WORKS ON SO MAN LEVELS! TWO!

My God, they could’ve given him any job in the world, but it’s like they’re legally not allowed to make the movie unless it’s a double entendre. Personally, I would’ve made him an investigator and called it “Private Dick.” Or a Marine grunt.

An affable underachiever finds out he’s fathered 533 children through anonymous donations to a fertility clinic 20 years ago. Now he must decide whether or not to come forward when 142 of them file a lawsuit to reveal his identity.

It’s actually a remake of a French-Canadian movie called Starbuck, and is written and directed by Ken Scott, who directed and co-wrote the original. You’d think Dinner for Schmucks (another French remake) and their general love of Jerry Lewis would be reason enough to never remake another French-language comedy again, but if I’m being honest, this looks much better than The Internship. Not high praise, but progress nonetheless.

I just hope there’s a scene where Vince Vaughn is out pickin’ up chicks and ends up accidentally banging his daughter. Wouldn’t that be the ultimate, Vince-Vaughn-comes-to-terms-with-his-womanizing-ways moment? Every other cinematic oops-I-guess-I-should-stop-being-a-man-child revelation would be piss-weak in comparison to Vince Vaughn f*cking his daughter. Think about it.

Opens November 22nd.