Sex, Drugs, and Decapitations: New Teaser for ‘The Counselor’

Senior Editor
07.18.13 25 Comments

There aren’t too many movies coming out that have me more embonered than The Counselor, which Ridley Scott is directing from a script by Cormac McCarthy. Which McCarthy formatted non-traditionally, as per the Cormac McCarthy manual of style, which is just a picture of Cormac McCarthy flipping everyone the bird. Opening October 25th, it stars Michael F. Assbender as a lawyer who gets sucked into the drug underworld when he partners with Javier Bardem’s Brian Grazer-inspired “Reiner” on a $20 million coke deal. Hobo-hair Brad Pitt fits in there somewhere as well, possibly just to read everyone a weird poem he wrote about perfume.

The new teaser has a lot of the same footage as the last one, including the centerpiece shot of a motorcyclist getting presumably decapitated by a high-tension wire strung across the roadway (YES, OH GOD YES JUST TAKE MY MONEY NOW), plus additional new footage of Penelope Cruz and Cameron Diaz getting all lesbo-erotic by the pool. This time with a lingering shot of Cameron Diaz’s cheetah-spot back tat, mee-yow (that’s what I’m supposed to say, right?).

I tried to give a girl a pearl cheetah once, but the antelope ran away.

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