I’d do almost anything for Vince and my FilmDrunk friends. So when Fifty Shades came out, I thought: “This would be a nice [terrible] movie to go see with my mom.” A mother-daughter movie review? It could work. My mom’s a funny lady, dismissive in the best ways, plus I love a good suburban movie theater. Befuddled mom + tempur-pedic seats = a damn good old time.
Turns out, my mom wasn’t so interested in seeing Fifty Shades. In fact, she stressed to me that she was very, VERY uninterested, via a listicle. I was so charmed by her response I thought I would post if for you all. She told me “it was cool” as long as she didn’t have to go “to that horrible movie” “on a weeknight!”
11 Reasons I will not see 50 Shades of Grey
I wouldn’t read the book so why should I see the movie
I think Grey should be spelled Gray….hey, its America after all
The last time I saw a movie with my daughter she video’d me and posted it on you tube. I looked a hundred. My friends saw it and said, yes, I looked a hundred
I am having a bad hair day. Actually a bad hair month.
I prefer Disney films and sweet, romantic comedies. How much further from a PG film can I go? Not far.
The movie did not get any Oscar nominations. I am a snob.
My daughter wants me to accompany her at a time when they do not offer a senior discount. Forget it. I do not pay full price.
I am certain I would wince and close my eyes during most of the movie. Why not just stay home and take a nap?
I cannot imagine eating popcorn and drinking soda and watching such stuff. Maybe, a serious cocktail, or two, or three.
The main character’s name is Christian. I am an Episcopalian. I do not want to go to a movie that will challenge my faith.
Its nine degrees outside. I am not going anywhere.