FilmDrunk

My Mom Gave Me 11 Perfect Reasons Why She Won’t See ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’

I’d do almost anything for Vince and my FilmDrunk friends. So when Fifty Shades came out, I thought: “This would be a nice [terrible] movie to go see with my mom.” A mother-daughter movie review? It could work. My mom’s a funny lady, dismissive in the best ways, plus I love a good suburban movie theater. Befuddled mom + tempur-pedic seats = a damn good old time.

Turns out, my mom wasn’t so interested in seeing Fifty Shades. In fact, she stressed to me that she was very, VERY uninterested, via a listicle. I was so charmed by her response I thought I would post if for you all. She told me “it was cool” as long as she didn’t have to go “to that horrible movie” “on a weeknight!”

Enjoy.

11 Reasons I will not see 50 Shades of Grey

I wouldn’t read the book so why should I see the movie

I think Grey should be spelled Gray….hey, its America after all

The last time I saw a movie with my daughter she video’d me and posted it on you tube. I looked a hundred. My friends saw it and said, yes, I looked a hundred

I am having a bad hair day. Actually a bad hair month.

I prefer Disney films and sweet, romantic comedies. How much further from a PG film can I go? Not far.

The movie did not get any Oscar nominations. I am a snob.

My daughter wants me to accompany her at a time when they do not offer a senior discount. Forget it. I do not pay full price.

I am certain I would wince and close my eyes during most of the movie. Why not just stay home and take a nap?

I cannot imagine eating popcorn and drinking soda and watching such stuff. Maybe, a serious cocktail, or two, or three.

The main character’s name is Christian. I am an Episcopalian. I do not want to go to a movie that will challenge my faith.

Its nine degrees outside. I am not going anywhere.

Love Mom

Via Jezebel

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