New Trailers: Battle Los Angeles, Mary-Kate is a Goth Witch

Senior Editor
12.06.10 34 Comments

After the jump, I’ve got new trailers for Battle: Los Angeles, and Beastly, the “edgy teen drama” about learning not to judge a book by its cover.  Beastly stars Alex Pettyfer as Handsome McPopular, a rich high school kid who has it all — money, abs, flowing locks, inexplicable speech-giving opportunities — until one day he pisses off goth witch Mary-Kate Olsen, who turns his eyebrows into Arabic writing. WHO’S GONNA LOVE YOU NOW, FARSI FACE?  Hard to say what my favorite part was, because this trailer has everything:

“Chicks dig blind guys.”
“Too bad they don’t dig ugly guys.”
“How do you know?”
(*dramatic music*)

“…I’m gonna build her a greenhouse.”

Great dialog.  A+ for believability.  But if you wanted to send a message that looks aren’t important, you probably shouldn’t have cast Mary-Kate Olsen as a witch.  [via ComingSoon]

Elsewhere, Battle: Los Angeles just released this new trailer.  From the director of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, aliens are invading — again!  And this time, our only hope is Aaron Eckhardt.  Once again, they’ve managed to successfully disguise the fact that Michelle Rodriguez is in this.  I don’t understand the strategy.  How will I understand the defiance of the human spirit in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds without a hardcore Latina?  Her sneer reminds me that life’s not worth living without a cause worth dying for. PAINT YOUR FACE, MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ! SAY SOMETHING GLIB ON THE WAY TO A SUICIDE MISSION!

[via ScreenJunkies]

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