I don’t know how to say this, folks, because I’m still in shock. “Nic Cage’s son hospitalized for psychiatric evaluation” just isn’t a headline I ever expected to read. I MEAN WHAT’S NEXT, RAINING LIZARDS?! But incredibly, it’s true. Nic Cage’s son, Weston Coppola Cage, the famous black metal musician and lead singer of the band Eyes of Noctum, is being investigated for psychiatric issues. WHO COULD HAVE SEEN THIS COMING?
Weston Cage, Nic Cage’s son, was taken for a mental health evaluation after he was arrested for becoming violent [with] his physical trainer. The incident occurred at 4:00 pm at The Farmer’s Kitchen in Hollywood. Cage apparently became angry after his trainer would not allow him to eat something that he wanted on the menu.
NO!? NOT THE BEETS!? (*punches out lady*)
Cage tried a roundhouse kick on his trainer, but the fight was won by the trainer when he took Cage to the ground.
NOTE TO ANGRY GOTH KIDS EVERYWHERE: Stop it. You do not know karate.
Someone else tried calming Nic’s son down, to no avail. Weston got up and continued freaking out.
Cops showed up and told Weston if he didn’t get on the ground they would tase him. Weston then complied. Cops put Weston in handcuffs but they were so worried he was unstable they strapped him to a gurney.
It’s unclear if Weston was under the influence of drugs or alcohol but people who work at the restaurant say he appeared to be under the influence of something.
He is on a drug, it’s called “Nic Cage.” It’s twice as powerful as Charlie Sheen, and can only be derived from the venom of rare snakes. Overacting is one of the side effects.
Weston was taken to a local hospital where he is being evaluated.
Tne source says Weston got into a nuclear argument with his new wife, Nikki, this morning and she stormed out of their house.
Sources close to the Cage family tell TMZ Nic has arrived at the hospital. We’re told Nic has cleared his schedule and plans to stay in town as long as Weston needs him to be here. [TMZ]
Phew, well good thing that’s resolved. No one can bring calm to a volatile situation like Nic Cage.
Weston Cage: Still less embarrassing than Chet Haze.