A Guide to NSYNC Slash Fiction + The Morning Links

It’s 2001. You are a mild NYSNC fan. Naturally, you’re confused. 9/11 just happened, so you want to explore the erotic fan fiction of all the NSYNC members. Lucky for you, there’s this site, where you can take a 5,000 word crash course on the narrative history and politics of NSYNC porn. Here are some gems on the OFF CHANCE you don’t want to read the whole thing twice like I did (thx, college):

The members of *NSYNC are frequently referred to as “puppies,” which is a fandom in-joke from On The Bus 3 (and much easier to type than *NSYNC).

So if you’ve only read On the Bus 1 and 2, don’t even f*cking THINK you’re a fan.

Actual factual private knowledge of the guys, based on personal experiences or anecdotes, is often considered not relevent to the fandom or used in fanfiction. We’re writing about the public images of *NSYNC, not the actual people themselves.

This is not the tenet of the NSYNC fandom (as you know, diligent readers, the credo is “They’re Better in Motion,” d’uh), but it really should be. The importance of the public image of the band over their real life is what pop culture and pop stars are all about, but that still seems to be something that people do wrong. Like it matters whether or not the people with the management team and graphomaniacal following are really feelin’ it, man. These NSYNC eroticateurs know what’s up.

Even the clumsiest of them moves like satin over skin, and their dancing is the stuff wet dreams are made of.

I’ve never not climaxed without imagining NSYNC.

[Chris Kirkpatrick] runs a clothing design firm called FuMan Skeeto, with a skater/anime theme. […] He’s the only one with post-high school education (an associate’s degree in Psychology and Music).

“I got Professor FuMan Skeeto for Cerebromusicology, what about you?”

Lance is semi-officially The One Most Likely To Be Gay In Real Life, although there’s no hard [lol] evidence to support that.

Congrats, guys, you called it! It’s too bad this website isn’t updated during Lance Bass’ space endeavors, I’m sure those sex scenes would be out of this world! Get it? Every combination of the band is paired together, with nicknames like JuC, Kittentrick, Phatrick, Timbertone, lamblove, and “GSF (Group Slut Fic).” They even add non-band characters like Lou Pearlman, Britney Spears, Osama Bin Laden, Mae West, the shark from Jaws, Nathaniel Hawthorne, and Clone Osama Bin Laden.

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