Senior Editor
09.23.09 120 Comments

(I swear to God I happened upon this picture completely by accident)

Unbeknownst to most of us, Stephenie Meyer’s first novel for adults, The Host, was released last year.  Now some producers have bought the movie rights.  Oh don’t worry, it sounds awesome.

Meyer’s novel is a love story set in the near future on Earth, which has been assimilated by an alien species that call themselves “Souls.” They are benevolent parasites that subsume the conscious [the conscience?  the consciousness?  don’t look at me, I don’t speak retard.] of humans and take possession of their bodies. One such soul, The Wanderer (so named because she has wandered among so many different worlds) is fused with a dying human named Melanie Stryder [Melanie Stryder? Is that like Mephenie Steyer?], in an attempt to locate the last pocket of surviving humans on Earth. The Wanderer cannot subsume the forceful Melanie, and they battle for the girl’s memories and her spirit. [Variety]

Here’s an even better synopsis from Publisher’s Weekly:

Planet-hopping parasites are inserting their silvery centipede selves into human brains, curing cancer, eliminating war and turning Earth into paradise. But some people want Earth back, warts and all, especially Melanie Stryder, who refuses to surrender [“I refuse to be inserted!” she shouts*  -Ed.], even after being captured in Chicago and becoming a host for a Soul called Wanderer. Melanie uses her surviving brain cells to persuade Wanderer to help search for her loved ones in the Arizona desert. When the pair find Melanie’s brother and her boyfriend in a hidden rebel cell led by her uncle, Wanderer is at first hated. Once the rebels accept Wanderer, whom they dub Wanda, Wanda’s whole perspective on humanity changes. [via Wikipedia: “She is later nicknamed ‘Wanda’ by Mel’s eccentric Uncle Jeb.] While the straightforward narrative is short on detail about the invasion and its stunning aftermath, it shines [one might even say it SPARKLES] with romantic intrigue, especially when a love triangle (or quadrangle?!) develops for Wanda/Melanie. [via /Film]

Hmm, I think using your surviving brain cells to refuse assimilation into an invading horde of boring parasites might be a metaphor for growing up Mormon. (Aw, just bustin’ yer balls, momos. Love the blonde women).

*not really.

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