Ahoy-hoy, polloi loi!
1. Settling Scores.
Jeff “Vince Mancini” Atkins posted last week’s Roundup on Facebook (which, apparently, is still a thing). Many of you dutifully hit “Like,” but some miscreant made the following comment:
Who ever [sic] wrote this was trying so hard to be clever it was unreadable.
Now, the ‘tockus has a notoriously thick skin. My doctor has to take a running start to inject me with my “vitamin” shots, lest the needle bend. But hate is my milieu, and I redress grievances with a quickness. So to my wee nemesis I say, a clever person doesn’t “try” to be clever. Cleverness seeps out of me without cease, like jizz from your mom’s every hole. But you wouldn’t know that because you’ve never made anybody laugh without tickling their balls. Enjoy your s’mWhoreless existence, butt.
2. Go Directly to Court; Do Not Pass Go F*ck Yourself.
Orson Scott Card’s former rep, Niad Management is demanding 10 percent of his income from the [Ender’s Game] film. In reaction, Card filed a petition with California’s Labor Commissioner that asserted that Niad had violated the Talent Agencies Act, which says that only licensed talent agents can procure employment for clients.