Peter Pan Reimagined As a Pederast

Senior Editor
11.23.10 16 Comments

(*puts on leotard, tucks junk, takes huge bong load, swings in on harness*) That’s right, everyone, Hollywood is doing Peter Pan again.  Only this time around, it sounds like it’s just his taste in dudes that doesn’t age.  That’s what I love about Neverland boys, man, I get older, they just stay the same.

Swiss director Ben Hibon, who helmed the animated sequence in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1, has been tapped to direct fantasy action thriller “Pan” for Social Capital Films and Energy Entertainment.

Project is based on Ben Magid’s script, originally acquired in 2006 by New Line as a vehicle for Guillermo Del Toro to direct.  The film puts a dark spin on JM Barrie’s “Peter Pan,” with Captain Hook as a haunted former police detective in pursuit of a childlike kidnapper. [Variety]

Who plays the Tick Tock the Croc, Chris Hansen?  I don’t know, am I wrong for assuming “childlike kidnapper” is code for pedophile?  I guess I’m just hoping Peter Pan The Pedophile, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, and Edgar Allen Poe: Homicide Detective all play together as part of some Dude-I’m-So-High-Right-Now triple feature.  Seriously though, Hollywood, put down the bong.

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