Hot of the heels of the Fast and Furious shake-chair comes the news that Phillips Electronics is developing a jacket that will help you “feel the movie.” Because the jacket vibrates, you see.
“People don’t realize how sensitive we are to touch, although it is the first sense that fetuses develop in the womb,” says Paul Lemmens, a Philips senior scientist a middle-aged white man with dreadlocks.
The aim, he says, is investigating emotional immersion. “We want people to feel Bruce Lee’s anxiety about whether he will get out alive,” says the Philips researcher. The jacket, responding to signals encoded in the DVD or to a program designed to control the jacket on the fly, can do a host of things, such as “causing a shiver to go up the viewer’s spine and creating the feeling of tension in the limbs.” During the fight scene, says Lemmens, the jacket will even create a pulsing on the wearer’s chest to simulate the kung fu master’s elevated heartbeat.
Can it sense my emotions? Because I totally loathe you right now. Anyway, congratulations on staying busy, hippies, but if I wanted a vibrator jacket, I’d raid your mom’s closet. *flies by in biplane with scarf trailing behind*
…thaaAAAT’S AA BUUUUuuuuurrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn…..