Gay pirate movie demands mermaid sacrifice

Get excited, folks, we’ve got a new trailer for Pirates of the Caribbean 4, aka On Stranger Tides, in theaters May 20th. The Pirates of the Carribbean ride at Disneyland always scared the crap out of me as a kid (GRR, DUNGEONS AND WHORES), and throughout this entire franchise, I’d been hoping that they’d make the movie version a little more about that sense of seedy pirate realism and a little less… uh… gay.  It looks like Disney has finally answered my prayers and gone less camp this time around. And by that I mean they hired the director of Chicago for a story about how Jack Sparrow has to sacrifice a mermaid to the fountain of youth to lift an ancient curse. (*sigh*) (*hook-hand dismissive wank*)

[Trailer after the jump, some of the mermaids below, including my new girlfriend, Astrid Berges-Frisbey.]

I’d respect Penelope Cruz more if she went full Spaniard with that accent instead of half-assing it.

“Mira, Yack Sparrow, we find the founteng of jooth!”

[via Vulture]