FlipBoardTwo new Punisher: War Zone trailers after the jump
Hollywood keeps right on making Punisher movies, and the movies keep right on sucking. Punisher: War Zone will be the third try (first one in 1989 with Dolph Lundgren, second in 2004 with Thomas Jane), this time with Ray Stevenson (whom I admit was pretty badass in Rome) in the lead. It’s a good thing they hired a director I’ve never heard of because otherwise I’d be worried they’d just screw it up again.
I liked this better when DMX was in it.
Regular trailer:
R-Rated version:
Wow, a shitty white-trash rap-metal soundtrack, I never would’ve seen that coming. It’s cool though, rap-metal is like Fox racing gear and armband tattooes in that it never gets old. Hi, bodies? Meet floor.
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Oh, fuck.
double fuckwhy cant they just let it dieno movie no problem
He was such a badass in Rome as Pullo that no one ever mentioned his last name: Myfinger.
what the hell? Next up, another Hulk movie
Skittles…have many flavors.
I just love movis inspired by old RATT videos. Was that a re-animated Milton Berle at the table?
the comic canot translate to film cause there is just no one badass enough to pull off a punisher(08)
Taste the rainbow.
of my fists of fury.
Punisher movies are like zits: you get them on your ass and then- wait, what?
Well, since there is no How She Throw post in the forseeable future, I better get this little story out of my system, and there is no way I could durst a Punisher thread more than the movie already has, sooooooooooo:Dor sho gha! The Mighty Fek’lhr saw a comemrcial for "How She Throw" the other night. One of the punk football players insinuated he would "knock her right out of her training bra." Listen, you stupid little shit, if you don’t want a girl playing on your high-school football team, handle it the old fashioned way! Get her pregnant.
10 to 1 the next Punisher movie is starring Rose McGowan.
10 to 1 the next Punisher movie has a sex scene that involves Louie Anderson and Carrot Top.
That R-rated trailer was just ridiculous.Exec #1: "Well, we gotta rinse the taste of John Travolta out of people’s mouths. How many different ways can we think of to decapitate someone?"Director: [counting on his fingers] "Seven?"Exec #2: "That’s no good! Say, has anyone watched this ‘Rome’ show?"Exec #1: "Of course not."Director: "They got a lot of different ways of beheading someone on that show."Exec #2: "With a semi-automatic weapon?"Director: "No, with a… yes. With a machine gun."
10 to 1 the next Punisher movie is starring Rose McGowan.Punish3r: Almost Translucent
My old man took me hunting once, but then he started to get creeped out when I rigged myself upside down from a tree and started spinning with my rifle. I told him that he’d obvious never killed anything before, queer.
How He Punish
10 to 1 the next Punisher movie gets to da choppah!
Does that ‘Youth Restricted Viewer’ really think that someone born in 1801 woud want to watch a fucking Punisher trailer?
Ray Stevenson is in this? The guy who sang "Ahab The Arab & The Streak?"
Thomas Jane is the poor man’s Erin Aaron Eckhart.And the Unibomber was the poor man’s Punisher.
Well at least they didn’t go over the top with the Crucifiction imagery juxtaposed against guns blazing and death.
And Aaron Eckhart is the 2nd cousin, twice removed of the poor man’s Erin Aaron Eckhart.
Fuck, I tell you what: I give my proofreader one day off and look at this shhhitt.
Oh, fuck me, Dominic West is in this, too? What, do movie executives just get screeners for these shows and point randomly at the cast list? Also, what the fuck, Dominic. What the fuck.
This film will contain more testosterone than one of Perez Hilton’s stool samples.
Punisher 4: Long Wang
I MARVEL at how many times this franchise can keep stepping on its own dick.Making a Punisher movie is about as pointlessas being a Boy Scout when you grow up in the boonies. "Wait — I get to spend a lot of time outdoors and use a knife and tie knots and stuff?" A Punisher movie is just another mindless shoot’em up, just with a particularly branded shooter.
How the fuck do you exactly end up hanging from a chandelier?
large explosion*****BOOM*****SUPRISE!! your hanging from a fucking chandelier
sorry my sound effects are in the shop
How the fuck do you exactly end up hanging from a chandelier?He was posing as the maid. Only you can’t tell from the trailer ’cause his wig fell off.
How the fuck do you exactly end up hanging from a chandelier? Dude, you never heard of a piñata?
I LOVE pinata’si love anything you can beat the shit out of and ends with eruption!!!
My you all have been quite busy this morning.Bad News: The Uproxxrzzz shit at the bottom of the page hits the "Access Policy Block" everytime it loads the page. This, I think, will finally get the attention of the IT Nazis to my FilmDrunking and get this page blocked. I’m gonna have to go fishing for a good proxy server that isn’t blocked also. That is known as dedication to ones art. So if I finally dissappear I just wanted to say that I’ll miss you most of all scarecrow!Now, go choke on a bucket of burning shit and biscuits.
You guys know what’s awesome? When you just went to the dollar store and the low IQ gimpy dude who works there is yelling in a fake Chinese accent, "No fo’tune cookie fo’ you! No fo’tune cookie fo’ you!" then you accidentally knock him over then you walk up to the register with just a pack of razorblades and a handful of change and the clerk looks at you like this will be the last time she sees you alive.
<=== Just saw;Access Blocked Policy Code 1002Access to [www.uproxx.com] has been blocked.In order to provide adequate Internet speed for our business critical Internet traffic, some high bandwidth, non businessrelated sites have been put on this block list. All over the FilmDrunk homepage
Mmmmm. Biscuits.
Gotta go work……fucking sux.
misssoultaker…do put it blatantly, you’re kind of whore- right?
well me and your mother are close but i like to keep it as descret as possible
You know what works better than Uproxx’s servers?Everything.
Uproxx – Little, Yellow, Differnt, Blow Me.Craptastic – get a blackberry and a carpal tunnel wrist brace.
Did I miss something? Did UPROXX go down on everyone? MWARL slutty UPROXX
Oh! What’s this! Our friends at uproxx decided that we could post again? Thank you. I’m naming my next kid after you. "Assface Buttfuck Cocksuckers" rolls off the tongue pretty well doesn’t it?
I blame Lil’ Wayne.
Easy as "1,2,3".I’m sorry, I’m having a day. No offense Mr. Roxx. I’m special needs.
AGAGAAHAH! Uproxx is eating comments! RUUUUN!
Punisher? I hardly know ‘er!Deja vu?
New Uproxx!