Last week the news cycle was all abuzz about how sexist Adam Sandler was for showing up to a Sony event wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt he borrowed from Khalid Sheikh Muhammed. “Such a double standard!” The fashion police would destroy Selena Gomez for this!” they shouted, as the fashion police destroyed Adam Sandler for it. (Ufford’s take was my favorite).
Though they seem to have a little more ammunition this week, as Rose McGowan tweeted a script note for what she
claims heavily implies was an Adam Sandler movie, along with a wardrobe note requesting “Black (or dark) form fitting tank that shows off cleavage (push up bras encouraged). And form fitting leggings or jeans. Nothing white.”
At the very least, it seems to leave little doubt as to what the most important attribute is for an Adam Sandler female co-star. Sadly, Rose McGowan doesn’t tell us what part the audition was for, so we had to make our own guesses:
– Clerk at pie shop that smitten Paul Blart visits
– Allen Covert‘s Trophy Wife
– David Spade’s Cousin
– Segway Showroom Model (Robopanda)
– Scientist – no field designated, just “scientist” (Robopanda)
– Single mother who is raising two bright, adorable kids by herself and operating a beloved but struggling food truck that serves brownies outside the courthouse while they’re in school but she’s also a slammin babe with big yabbos (Danger Guerrero)
– Hot Eskimo (Danger Guerrero)
– Ice Cream shop employee who just can’t seem to figure out why David Spade and Rob Schneider keep asking for scoops from the bottom of the emptiest containers. (Ryan Perry)
– Native American Cultural Advisor (Josh Kurp)
– Mother of 5-Year-Old Boy Sandler Mentors (Matt Ufford)
– Roller Derby Coach (Matt Ufford. -speaking of which… remember when Drew Barrymore made a roller derby movie?)
Suggestions? We’ll get this figured out eventually. By the way, I hope Happy Madison doesn’t take any of these criticisms to heart (and if history is any guide, they won’t). The only thing worse than a blatantly sexist Adam Sandler movie would be an overcompensating Adam Sandler movie.