LISTEN UP, MAGGOTS! I’M KNITTING MY GRANDDAUGHTER A SWEATER!

Senior Editor
10.21.11 18 Comments

Here’s a picture of our favorite drill instructor, R. Lee Ermey, caught knitting on an airplane. I think we all know where this thread is going, so we might as well get to it, shall we? Thread! Get it? That’s a knitting pun, son!

“I WILL MOTIVATE YOU, PRIVATE PYLE! EVEN IF IT SHORT KNITS EVERY CARDIGAN IN THE CARGO!”

“THIS IS MY NEEDLE, THIS IS MY YARN, THIS ONE’S FOR WEAVING, THIS ONE’S FOR DARN!”

“TEXAS?! HOLY DROP STITCH!”

“YOUR DAYS OF FINGER-STITCHING MARY JANE ROTTENCROTCH’S PRETTY PINK PANTIES ARE OVER! YOU ARE MARRIED TO THESE PINS, AND YOU WILL BE FAITHFUL!”

“GOD HAS A HARD-ON FOR SEAMSTERS, BECAUSE WE KNIT EVERYTHING WE SEE!”

“YOU HAD BEST UNTUCK YOURSELF, OR I WILL UNSTITCH YOUR HEAD AND KNIT DOWN YOUR NECK!”

Anyway, I’m sure you guys can do better. I really wish I knew more knitting terminology.

[Picture via CrazyAuntPurl]

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