Rachel and C-Tates Getting Married

Senior Writer
06.18.10 20 Comments

"Yo girl, like, I do take yo hand in marriage... and place it on deez nuts!"

Yo yo yo, FilmDrank, ya boi C-Tate’s all up in ya biz like Cheez-Wiz, son. Forgives my abscess from this site as of late, but I been bangin’ wit dem no good hoodrats at Pajiba. Theyz boyz legit like souljas, for real… Haha, just kiddin’, right? They paid me to say dat sh*t so you’d all be like, Yo girl, C-Tate’s ridin’ durrty wit Pajiba now, so is I. But y’alls got brains for thinkin’ and sh*t , so you ain’t fall for it.

So yo, check this out – me and Rachel McAdams gettin’ hitched, right? Naw, yo, not like fo realz. I ain’t a Moron livin’ it Utah practicin’ origami, heard. We be hookin’ up for this new joint, The Vow. And I was like, Yo girl, this a movie about AEIOU and sometimes Y? Naw, it’s about the sanctitty of marriage, yo. And like, she’s all, Oh C-Tate’s, I love you and sh*t, but then she gets amnesia, probably from me rockin’ that body so hard, and she forgets all about the C-Tate. Yo girl, this some sad sh*t, like yo pit bull die.

Hey yo, if you likes it, puts a ring on it, Yahoo!:

The story follows a newlywed New Mexico couple who end up in a car crash. The wife is put in a coma, where she is cared for by her devoted husband. When she comes to, without any memory of her husband or their marriage, the husband woos her and attempts to wins her heart again.

Michael Sucsy, who directed HBO’s “Grey Gardens,” is sitting behind the camera for the Spyglass project. Earlier in the development process, it was being prepared as a vehicle for Julia Roberts.

Yo girl, only vehicle Julia Roberts be ridin’ in is a hearse for her career, right? Oh snaps for realz! But yo, what’s I’m sayin’ is, if C-Tate’s girl be all like, “Yo boy, I ain’t know you” and sh*t, I be all like, Damn girl, dat’s some cold revelatin’ you’s droppin’. And it my duty to please dat booty, right? But I ain’t puttin’ in double no effort, proper. Yo girl, you gets one chance for a lap dance, and after dat all bets is off.

And yo, I’mma get me some of dis McAdams skirt, right? I’mma be like, Yo girl, this ain’t how no Baby Goose got up in your grind, and she be all like, “Damn straights, C-Tates.” And then Goslin’ shows up and he’s all, “Hey girl, I like root beer floats and breast feeding through college” and I put my size 16 through his ass, girl. That boy ain’t dance to save nothin’. Respek.

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