Senior Editor
08.31.09 33 Comments

I’m not going to make fun of Sylvester Stallone for being old, because hey, everyone gets old (except for me, fingers crossed fingers crossed…).  At least Sly had the decency to shoot HGH and stab gooks in the face.  Anyway, yadda yadda yadda, Rambo 5.

The upcoming project’s storyline revolves around Rambo fighting his way through human traffickers and drug lords to rescue a young girl abducted near the U.S.-Mexico border. Production will start in the spring. [Variety]

DAMN YOU, HUMAN TRAFFICKERS!  STOP STEALING PEOPLES’ DAUGHTERS!  “I don’t know who you are.  I don’t know what you want.  If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you that I don’t have money.  What I do have is a particular set of skills.  Skills that I have acquired over a long career.  Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you.  And when I’m pushed… killin’s as easy as breathin’.”  *downs steroid pills, tears off a Mexican’s arms and beats him to death*


*Bow and arrow, bodies hitting floor*

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