Rebecca Black is a millionaire

[don’t worry, this is the death metal version, and it rules]

I’m not going to lie to you folks, although entertainment news is generally trivial and boring as a rule, there were some worthy stories in the last couple days that I couldn’t fully insert myself into (UNNNNGGGH). I’m not done for the day, but here’s a rundown to bring us up to speed.

Rebecca Black is a millionaire (or not).  People were up in arms this morning after a writer at Forbes estimated that Rebecca Black had made more than $1 million for her “Friday” video. Turns out it’s more like $24,900, which is still a pretty awesome Bat Mitsvah present.  People get pissed about this stuff, but I don’t really see why. Intentionally or not, she made a video that brought me a lot of joy, and that’s more than I can say for the majority of people who more money than me.  And all irony, or whatever you want to call it aside, if you don’t honestly think “Friday” (which cost $2,000) is better than Kim Kardashian’s first single (which probably cost 50 times that and was created by a famous hip-hop producer), you should cut off your ears and stuff them in your ass.

Albert Brooks to play Paul Rudd’s father in Apatow flick.  I love everything about that sentence.  Albert Brooks is rightly revered as a comedy god, and having him play Paul Rudd’s father gives hope to poor, be-Jewfro’d souls such as myself that our children might escape our terrible affliction. Also, how did Albert Brooks (whose real name is Albert Einstein, incidentally) get a normal voice? His brother Super Dave sounds like he got throat-raped by an acid-dicked dragon. [Deadline]

José Padilha confirms Robocop rumors. YAAAAAY… for the Robocop remake. BOOOOO… for us missing whatever awesome Brazilian thing he was planning to make before this came along. Still no word on when Elite Squad 2, which just played in Miami and Berlin, will get a US theatrical release. Though it’s already on Blu-ray if you speak Portuguese.  I guess we’ll just have to wait patiently while it makes its way here, like we did with the hairless vagina. [DigitalSpy]

Robert Pattinson will NOT play Daredevil in the upcoming reboot. Though there WILL still be a Daredevil reboot from the director of Twilight: Eclipse and 30 Days of Night. Which, frankly, seems like way worse news.  [GammaSquad]

Morgan Spurlock’s The Greatest Movie Ever Sold has a trailer:

Spurlock’s film about product placement was itself financed by product placement, which was the idea, because, you know, BRAAAAAAAHM.  A lot of people hate Morgan Spurlock for his cutesy pandering and premises that appear to tell us what we already know (McDonald’s food is fattening, movies have product placement, etc.), but I generally find them clever and entertaining, despite the hokiness.  I hate him because he’s a ginger.