REMINDER: Random Task’s trial on gun rape charges begins this month

If you’re a fan of Mike Myers movies, you may remember Joe Son as the guy who played Random Task in the first Austin Powers.  If you’re an MMA fan, you may remember him as the guy who was repeatedly

On Dec. 24, 1990, at about 12:30 a.m., Jane Doe was walking back to her apartment with her dog after going to look at Christmas lights with a relative and friend.  As she was walking, with her purse and her dog in hand, Son is accused of distracting Jane Doe by asking for directions and pretending he was lost.  Son and another suspect are accused of forcibly dragging Jane Doe to their car, throwing her in the back, and driving away.  Jane Doe’s purse was later retrieved at the scene, but her dog was never found again.

I know this makes me a terrible person, but I’d be lying if I told you my first thought upon reading this brutal rape story wasn’t, “Aw, I wonder what happened to the doggie!”

While driving to Huntington Beach, the defendant and the unknown suspect are accused of telling her they are driving to Compton, pistol whipping her, and threatening to kill her repeatedly.  The defendant is accused of repeatedly raping, sodomizing, and forcing Jane Doe to orally copulate him in the back of the car.  The unidentified suspect is also accused of raping Jane Doe and forcing her to orally copulate him.  The defendant is accused of penetrating her vagina with a firearm.  The defendant is accused of threatening to kill the victim and counting the bullets in the gun, as Jane Doe pleaded for her life.

I wonder where he went to finishing school.  It’s weird that it doesn’t say.

The defendant and the unidentified suspect are accused of finally allowing Jane Doe to leave naked and with her pants tied around her eyes.  Jane Doe went to a nearby home and the homeowners called the police. Jane Doe suffered great physical injuries as a result of the sexual assault. The police collected evidence from Jane Doe and the original crime scene.  The defendant pleaded guilty to felony vandalism on May 16, 2008, and was given 60 days in the Orange County Jail and placed on probation.  The defendant was given an additional 90 days on a probation violation on Aug. 18, 2008, and taken into custody.  As a condition of his original plea, Son was required to provide a DNA sample.  Son’s DNA sample provided in 2008 was linked to DNA collected at the scene and from Jane Doe in 1990. [hat tip: CagePotato]

This freak needs to be locked in a cell with West Virginia’s Melissa Lee Lucas, the knife-point cunnilingus lady.

LUCAS: (*pulls knife*) Eat my p*ssy or I’ll cut your throat!

SON: (*pulls gun*) Your p*ssy smells like a maggoty dung beetle, and I’m gonna fill it with hot lead!

LUCAS: …I was hoping you’d say that.

(*they kiss*) (*knife falls to floor*) (*Son fires gun in the air*)