Review: Transformers Dark Side of the Moon

I couldn’t make my Monday night press screening for Transformers: Dark of the Moon, but knowing it would probably be the biggest movie of the summer, I went to see it on my own dime the first chance I got.  I knew I owed it to you to at least attempt to answer all your burning questions.  Is there robot heaven in this one? Is Rosie Whatsername-McHyphen as good at looking hot as Megan Fox? And for the love of God, man, what of Josh Duhamel and the Flying Squirrel Team? That was the plan.  So then I saw it Wednesday night.  But when I sat down to write my review, I was overcome with apathy. So far all I’ve got is:

Transformers is long.”

…To be continued.  (…but probably not).